We have had some much appreciated rain over the last few days, but I live up a hill and this weekend, I couldn’t see out because we are basically in the middle of cloud….which feels rather metaphorical.
I have had this idea which I have started to bring forth from that thought-place of warm and fuzzy possible splendour. You know the stage, where you start working and rather more often than is comfortable, your half-vision starts to cloud or slowly disintegrate. And because of that, you turn direction slightly without really knowing how you did and new ideas and thoughts and justifications tempt you further on into the mist? You tell yourself that it’s going to be ok, you will end up somewhere just as wonderful, and sometimes you do, I know. But not this time.
I think I have realised why: there will always be a place for playful experimentation but at this stage and for this project I need to pay attention to elements within my work that a) give me pleasure and b) I regard as my growing voice. I think once I have them, I will become playful within that arena and not go wandering off so far. I believe in business terms this is called ‘scope creep’ but it feels more like I’ve had an arty affair with a bit on the side and need to return to my true love! 😁
Seriously, I have spent a huge amount of time over the last two weeks annoying myself. I have lost the way several times and had to admit that I now need to stop. I know it’s part of the process but it doesn’t make it any easier. But I do now know more of what it is I want to include, what will make me happy and what I need to not let go of.
‘Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go but rather learning to start over’N Sobon
I am going to offer a very cheesy observation on the huge surplus bags of gravel blocking the garden path in the photo above which have had to be removed by moving everything out of the way for a crane, again…and at cost. It is also somewhat fitting that they were from work needed to drain stagnant water.
Joking apart, the balance between play and holding onto intention is a hard one but I know when I get it right, it results in ‘flow’ and far less irritation. So perhaps I’ve learnt a little more about the things that will carry me along my path although as I have said many times, there must always room to be surprised by serendipity.
I don’t think everyone will necessarily feel the same. I think it might depend on where you are in your art-making journey and how aware you are of what you want or like to do. But if this resonates with you and you have been feeling at all like this, maybe taking the opportunity to pause and consider what is wooing you back will be helpful? You will will know it deep down and it will help you clear the mist.
‘Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end’Seneca
Queuing for the weekly shop amidst the pandemic has proved good thinking time, the back of my shopping list is now full of scratty jottings from which to re-set.